One of the things that’s hard to deal with living so far from my birth country and friends made during the first 25 years of my life, is that I miss major life milestones. In my Canadian wedding speech, while I was saying that I was grateful so many family members and friends had made it to our weddings despite me not being able to make it to their weddings or births of their firstborns, I completely lost it and really messed up my makeup. Rituals are important to me, milestones are important to me, and above all, people are important to me, so it’s been an ongoing challenge as to how to honour major moments in my loved ones’ lives without actually being there.
The first thing I realized quite some time ago was that the wedding geese used in the Korean traditional wedding was also a nice gift for people I knew who were engaged in other countries. The geese symbolize fidelity and faithfulness, and hey, who doesn’t like to get a present from abroad when they get engaged? So, for a few years I’ve been sending people wedding geese a few months before their weddings, and I’ll send three more sets off this year.
The other little ritual I figured out just last year, was that every Lunar New Year, Starbucks Korea puts out a new Barista Bear wearing the costume of the Chinese zodiac animal for each year. I started sending a bear to my mother three years ago as a way to include her in Korean New Year’s celebrations, but I have also started sending them to friends who are expecting babies so that they have something special from Korea to celebrate the year they were born. And this year, I’ve actually purchased an extra bear just in case there is a friend who is pregnant but not yet revealing their status. I learned that lesson after good friends living in Korea told us last April (far too late to secure a bear because they usually go out of stock after the New Year) that they were expecting their first in Oct/Nov 2010. So this year…I will be prepared!
They are silly little rituals, but they do help me to feel more connected with people I love the world over, and I think everyone likes receiving a surprise package from afar. And most of all, I hope that people know that even though I am not there, I have not forgotten.
“It’s the thought that counts” is what we often say about gifts (usually when they’re disappointing!) The thought you put into these gifts is wonderful. I can just imagine how special that little rabbit/bear will be to a Canadian child when she’s old enough to understand the cultural and personal significance of it. Awesome!