I found out about the big COEX baby fair a couple of weeks ago, and since the next fair was slated for around the time Dragon is due, I thought it best to go to this one. Mommy Cha warned me that it was overwhelming for new parents, but I’m a mom-to-be who knows everything right?, so we went anyway. Well yeah. It was overwhelming. Who knew there were so many strollers and car seats in this world???
In addition, whether it was the lack of protruding belly or my foreignness, nobody talked to me which is just as well because I’m not sure we would have been able to pull ourselves together in time to refuse a sale. And I know this because the only place someone did talk to me was the place we also spent 450,000 won.
The British saleswoman at Stork Sak, a company specializing in designer diaper bags, immediately spotted me and honed in. Of course, after two hours of looking at the overwhelming selection of products for babies, I was immediately taken in by the pretty yet functional bags for MUM. I was sure that Mr. Lee would never.ever.go for a 190,000 won bag, but I think he was possibly even more pro bag than me (I chalk this up to the fact that his friends and coworkers regularly complain about the multi million won designer handbags their wives and girlfriends demand from them. I think from Mr. Lee’s perspective, I have very frugal tastes).
But then…the saleswoman introduced the ‘Jamie’ bag – a daddy diaper bag. And I was intrigued. Most diaper bags I’ve seen have been very feminine. They are pastel; they have flowers; they have butterflies. They are just…girly. And here was a man bag that didn’t look at all like a diaper bag from the outside but was a fully functional, multipocketed, bottle insulated pocketed daddy bag. It also comes with a changing pad. (Did I mention the fact that Brad Pitt carries this bag?)
Of course, I need to be very clear. I do not think people need designer diaper bags, and I certainly do not believe that there need to be gender specific diaper bags in this world. But I’m starting to see that there is a hell of a lot of gendering and traditional role reinforcement in all areas of the baby market and pregnancy industry (remember those pink parking spaces?). In such circumstances, it’s easy to unconsciously suggest to parents that it is the mothers’ job to carry and care for the children, and it is also easy for fathers to rationalize a less active role in their children’s lives. So yes, on one level having a mommy and a daddy bag is ridiculous capitalism and materialism, but on the other hand, it does show the right step in a change of thinking.
I personally thought Mr. Lee would never go for the bag. We bought nice bags for each other last year for our birthdays, and it took him from early February (his birthday) to late October (my birthday) to decide on the bag he wanted (but only because I finally demanded a deadline!!!). In the end, he still wasn’t really happy with the bag he decided on. But when he saw this bag, his eyes sort of lit up. It was exactly what he wanted for the office with the look, pockets, and size, but it was also a fully functional diaper bag for later when Dragon is born. I couldn’t deny him this bag that he had decided on in 10 minutes instead of 9 months. And I certainly supported the idea that he would have the bag to cart all the baby supplies around in. You can’t be a ‘babysitter’ as so many men I know have expressed their forced-on-them-child-care-duties when you have the official daddy goods. I was also happy to hear from the saleswoman that they had been shocked by the amount of Korean men who were buying the daddy diaper bag. Way to go Korean 아빠s!
So yeah, we went to a baby fair and bought stuff for ourselves (shame), but in our defence, we are first time buyers in the overwhelming baby goods market, and the bags really are pretty (and practical!).
In other news, we did learn that Motherhood Maternity/A Pea in the Pod STORES not just online shopping, are coming to Korea Sept 1st! (More on the way Oct 1st) There’s nothing we need more in the practical motherhood goods world in Korea than nice maternity clothes. We also learned after seeking out a salesperson that they will carry large clothes in store. Since I wear a M-L in Motherhood clothes, and I’m 180 cm and big boned, I think the selection will be very helpful for a wide selection of women’s body types (for once!) Here’s the store details.
I admit that the daddy diaper bag is very attractive! I can see the appeal! I love my bag, it is super colourful. Shades of red, orange, yellow and cream stripes with all matching accessories. My dear friend bought it for me as I lusted after it at the Kintex babyfair in February so my husband couldn’t veto it! My MIL had sent me one from Texas but I didn’t like it. If I’m going to be replacing my pretty purses for the next 2 years, I want to replace it with something I like! ^.^
I also think I know the vendor you purchased from. Was she of Korean/British descent? If she also sells the Hip Mama carrier, giant nursing pillows and the ride-on suitcases then it’s who I’m thinking of and she’s super nice! If not, well then I’m glad you found one decent vendor! Usually the Peg Perego manager is awesome and speaks English well, but some of the other vendors are standoffish and one company was downright rude to my friends and I because they sell a similar wrap and we were checking their( inferior) product out. ^.~ She actually spoke in Korean to the salesgirl helping my friend look at her product NOT to help her! My friend speaks awesome Korean and told her off loudly in front of all her customers that she was also a customer as well as my friend! Politics I tell ya, you can never escape them!
Love reading your “Dear Dragon” posts as well, just haven’t been able to comment much lately. That’s motherhood for you! ^.^
She wasn’t Korean/British, but still super nice^^ Too bad about some of the vendors’ reactions to you! I mostly found that most people just didn’t know how to handle me. Maybe if I would have had a bigger bump they would have seen I was in need of some swag
We took home a TON of brochures and plan to start going through the car seat and crib ones. It was just too overwhelming to really get into the car seat search when they were displayed from the floor to high above our heads.
Thanks for the kind words about Dear Dragon. I hope the baby will enjoy them when he is old enough to care!
Congratulations on your pregnancy!
Honestly, despite what I think of consumer culture in general, I also think that assembling products for your first baby is one of the most satisfying shopping experiences ever.
What are views on childbirth like in general in Korea? Are there many options for women (midwives, doulas, home birth, etc.?) or is it more “doctor-centred”?
If there were just one book on pregnancy and childbirth that I could recommend, it’s Sheila Kitzinger’s “The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth.” Actually, anything written by her is good. I read her books as voraciously as I ate oranges with my first pregnancy in 2003/04, and she was highly influential in informing my decision to birth my second child at home in 2007.
Again, congrats, and all the best on this new and most noble adventure!
I plan to do a whole slew of posts on childbirth in Korea once I get a bit further into the prenatal process, and I think my doula friend is going to do a post or series of posts, but the short answer is….very very doctor centred. There are some natural options, and God willing I will be taking advantage of them at a birthing clinic, but I think I have to actually go on my tour and start my classes to properly write about them. Stay tuned though!^^
And thanks for the book recommend.^^ Not to mention that your orange comment has had me craving citrus all day!!!!!!!!!!!
[...] – Dragon Korea, having a boy next March, ponders how to give a kid solid White-Western and Korean identities. And her husband designer diaper bags! [...]